Don't Box me in!

Lately I seem to be bombarded with relationship talk, and it has me thinking about the different boxes we get put into in other people’s lives: the friend box, the fling box, the girlfriend box, the Friday night sex girl box. Sometimes we get to negotiate our box, and other times we just wake up in a box and wonder how we got there. Sometimes you take the box you can get now and hope for an upgrade. (I don’t really believe in boxes, so of course I think you can transcend them! I’ve never been good at compartmentalizing my life—I am ruled by my emotions and I like all aspects of my life to mingle together, messy and connected.)

Many people have made a career and written a lot of books telling women all the rules they should follow to avoid certain boxes. In fact, KB just received such a book in the mail from her mom last week. It’s not a new concept, and I understand the logic. However, I just find much of it to be a great big o’game—one I don’t really have the desire or willpower to play.

I was talking to my brother last week and I was amazed at how logically and practically he approaches dating. He recently met a girl and although she was great and he was interested, there were several reasons why they shouldn’t get involved—including some professional entanglements. So he very matter-of-factly declined, put her in the friend box, and moved on. I’m just not that practical or rational! Like most other areas of my life, I approach dating with emotions and abandon. No matter what the odds or reasons why I shouldn’t, I find myself wanting to go for it. Hey, why not?

I just can’t seem to escape these conversations lately. Every TV show, movie, or chat with a friend keeps leading back to the topic of defining relationships. Are we just friends? Are we more? Is he just not that into me? Come to think of it, we’ve been doing it most of our lives. Do you like me? Check the box for yes, no, or maybe. It’s just more intense these days and at times R-rated—if not parental guidance, then some other guidance would be greatly appreciated.